Note: Thus evil and dark Christmas-y poem is not by me but by that of Matthew Tinsley [who I have not heard of before, surprisingly]. Anyway, enjoy it - if you so dare.
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even the mouse.
For they're all on their beds
All covered in gore
For once again Christmas
Was evil once more!
An axe to the head
And a knife to the throat
A body in the lake
Inside of a boat.
The reindeer on the roof
All covered in blood
And elves all around
Face down in the mud
The tree set ablaze
The presents burned crisp
All the doings
Of evil St. Nick
The stockings were filled
With eyes, guts, and lungs
For this one Christmas
Has just now begun.
The children asleep
With sugarplum dreams
Not hearing a word
Of their parents screams.
'Ho ho ho! ' Said St. Nick
As the ax cleanly sailed
Into the children
As they yelled.
'You've been bad this year.
You get what you deserve.
For you've pushed my patience
You've got on my last nerves! '
'Why Santa, Wh-'
Was all Bobby said
Before Santa brought
His ax to his head.
He poured gasoline
Through the house with a glare
And set it ablaze
With a glimmering flare.
'I've said it before
And I'll say it no more
Merry Christmas to all
And to all more gore.
HO HO HO HO!!
